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Sent to a friend[102] Mom And Dad Didn't Ask For This
The last time I had a hug was when my friend left for college in August. Even then, it was just a quick embrace that friends give each other.Hugging makes me feel so uncomfortable. My mom and dad used to hug me, but I pulled away, so they haven't tried in a long time.
I know I sound silly, but I don't like being touched. My friends will ask why occasionally, but I shrug. I can't tell them the truth. I can't tell them that when I was 11, I was raped, and from that moment I haven't been able to accept affection from people.
Believe me, I want it so bad I could cry. In fact, I'm crying right now, but I just don't know how to let people hold me like that. Especially the ones I love. It was nine years ago that it happened, and although he still haunts my dreams, I'm not going to let him ruin my life anymore.
Rating:4.08
Comments
- That's right, don't let him ruin your life anymore. It's been nine years so you should get over it and stop thinking about it. It is probably hard for you, but think on the bright side, the past is the past, and it's not like you had a choice. Things like this happen everyday to people unfortunately.
It is time to move on with your life. Think positively, forget the past. - smile
you can start with small hugs at first just squeezes really thenwork uo to hugs...
smile - I am sorry that this happened to you, but there are support groups that will help you or a theropist will do the same. It isn't your shame, it is his and always remember that.
- i feel ya. that's the past though, if your friends want a hug just remember that by hugging them you're not letting that creep still have it over you, so hug away. let the past go and build a better future.
it's hard to forget and you probably wont, but dont let it consume you. think about the good things in life. - You should get help from a professional, its not as easy as saying the past is in the past, It does and will haunt you, but you choose to give it the power to control your life, and once you learn to control the memories you'll be able to move on. First you HAVE to ALLOW yourself to grieve. You lost the biggest thing you had as a woman, your virginity and no one will give that back to you, you were a little girl and its NOT your fault. Find a professional who can help you learn to be touched.
- This is serius. You need counseling to take your power back. It had to be someone you trusted cause it is tainting your trust in people you love. I KNOW, it happened to me, AND my husband when we were kids too. It helps to associate with people who understand and are victors over the experience. My heart is rooting for your recovery.
- if you can find the guy ... find him and cut his balls off.... ull feel much better
- i agree
- tell somebody.
- STUPID PEOPLE WHO SAY JUST GET OVER IT...THEY HAVE NOT BEEN IN A SITUATION LIKE YOU...I FEEL YOUR PAIN AND GOD WILL DEAL WITH THOSE PEOPLE...DON'T TURN PEOPLE AWAY WHEN THEY WANT TO HUG YOU, IT'S A WAY FOR THEM TO SHOW THE AFFECTION THEY HAVE FOR YOU...AND IN TIME YOU WILL BE ABLE TO HUG BACK...WHEN YOUR READY....
- There is a whole army of proffesional councilors out there trained to help people EXACTLY like you..
This person has ruined 9 years of your life... You were a kid and couldnt help that throughout your teens.. You have grown up... Now you can. So dont let him ruin the rest of it.
Seek help and throw this monster out of your head for good... it CAN be done with help...believe me. Even Mom & Dad may be able to help more than you give them credit for or perhaps a good man who may come into your life....You need to open your arms.. or no-one can, good OR bad. Good luck. - i am sorry to hear of what happened to you so long ago. one of the best ways to move forward, and this is the hardest part, is being willing to expose those deep dark secrets to the light of day. whether it with a therapist, your folks, or someone you trust to listen and not judge you, simply telling the secret to someone helps reduce the secret's power over you. confessing here is a good first step, but to truely move on, you must be willing to be vulnerable with someone who will help you. that is what makes this so hard, someone exploited your vulnerability once. to be vulnerable again is the last thing you want to do, but it is also the way in which you will climb out of this.
you can do it! - Wow thats pretty hot.
- im sorry 4 what u went through, i know its tough cuz i know where u are right now, but the other is right. dont let him ruin your life anymore! u CAN get to a point where hugging feels safe and cozy. force yourself to do it more with safe people and it will start feeling more normal
- see a therapist. Nothing wrong with seeing a doctor, they do wondeful things.
- Some things and people need professional help to finally move on. Trying to "just get over it" is not helping you at this time. There is a new(?) idea in psychology that you can only deal with the present. Don't get caught up with this idea. You are partially what your past has made you, and you need to deal in the present with the effects of that past. You need tender understanding care to find that it was not your fault, and that you can learn again to trust a right person. I will think good thoughts for your happiness.
- whoever commented before me is a complete idiot. seriously 'just get over it' have you ever been raped before? no? then shut the heck up.
you should start by finding a boyfriend (or girlfriend if you are a lesbian) and just hold hands.. then be close, then closer, then cuddle.. and go from there.
its worth fighting for sweetie, i'll tell u that much.
myspace.com/turz
add me.
- try therapy.it helps to talk and get it off your chest
