Read confession
Sent to a friend B ~I love you but I can't love you like you need to be loved. Because of this, I'm trying to leave you but you're making it so damned hard! It is my family too and he is our son! To say this affects me any less is insane...
You can blame it on the military, the job, the unit, but I say it has to do with you. You knew the military was/is my career and it goes much deeper than 'just a job'. I try to push myself to do much better for not only myself, but for my family. All I needed you to do was understand that I had stress and to let me have just a little independence. It wasn't my lack of attention, just quality attention and I get it. But it was your tight grip on my freedom that drove me to her. I'll never tell you about her. It's because of her I didn't leave earlier. It was because of her and my shift of attention that you went to him. It's just dumb fucking luck I caught you both in the parking lot - post hotel hook-up. I love you but can't stay with you. I will always love you - I have always loved you - I will always be there for you, even when you're with someone else. I can't tell you that because you won't understand that reasoning. I wish I was someone different... stronger. After all, you may be getting dumped, but I'm splitting our family - the only family i've known - into pieces. I can only share these feelings because I can't feel vulnerable to you again. I won't. So I birth this into the void of the net, knowing you'll never see it and hope that somehow it will make me feel better about the emotional purge.
Jason
Rating:5.00
