Read confession
Sent to a friend okay,so im a 14 year old girl,
and my life seems to keep getting worse.
lets say my names sarah,.
i dont know where to start.
hm, k, so one day i was on myspace, and i added this cute guy, whos 17.
one thing lead to another, and we started calling eachother non stop, and talked for hours straight,
and id stay up late, and go to school having less then 4 hours of sleep at night.
i finnally plannedd meeting this boy , named mike,. but at first he ditched me, which is where i met this boy called joe. we exchanged numbers, and ill get back to him later,
but then i finnaly met mike
i planned to go see him with my bestfriend, and lie to my parents , and sleep at his house.,
so me and my friend, bought alot of alcohol, and before we knew it, we were pisssss drunkk,
it was great.
until he brought me someone away friom all the older kids, that i felt soo cool around,.
thats where i lost my virginity.
after that, i got more drunk.
and mike was on E and alcohol.
we walked around, stopped, and they offered me cocaine. i didnt turn it down, because i wanted to be cool.
i did a few lines, and was totally on a downer.
i smoked some weed after that,
so im drunk, on coke and on weed.
while my bofriend, who isnt even considered my boyfriend, was on E, coke, and alcohol,
we stayed out until 2 in the morning, which is when he brought us 3 hours away from where i lived.
i slept at his house, where we ended up having sex 7 times, in total that night. !
i never even wanted to do it,
i was jsut so fucked up tho,
he brought me back to where i lived and my parents didnt find out.
but my whole entire school did.
they found out about drugs, sex and everything. and everyone knew every single detail. and im not joking when i say everyone. all the teachers knew also.
for the last 2 months of school, i never went to class . sometimes i didnt even go to school, i was humiliated. i spent most of my day in the planning room, the nurses office or the ooffice. i couldnt handle all the stress.
i hated my parents, and they knew nothing about it, so they couldnt help.
i then met this girl named lisa. who was liek a mom to me. i cryed with her everyday, instead of going to class. my teachers didnt call home, because they feltbad for me. and almost all of them passed me in every subject.
i later on found out i was "pregnant" which is also when everyone else in my school found out. luckly i took the day after pill,. since he didnt use a condom.. thank god, i had a misscarrage,
after all this shit, i couldnt handle anything. i smoked weed or hash everyday. and brought my friends down with me.
i love my friends, and if it wasnt for them , id be dead,
about 2 months after , i called back joe, i told him to pick me up at my house, . it was 11pm and i snuck out jsut to chill..
he forcingly had sex with me,
which is when the cops came by,
and saw my pants off, him sweaty and me crying, they obviously suspected something, but joe covered it up , and he got away with it,
people found out about this to,.
which is when i started considering myself a slut,
i never talked to those boys again,
but if it wasnt for mike, my life wouldnt be so fucking gay,
throughtout this whole time,i daily found myself taking percripstion pills, snorting pills, smoking weed, and ddoing everything i can to get me high.
my parents found out about me snorting, smoking ,drinking, and my depression,.
obviously as a 14 year old slut, i went throguh alot,
and cut myself,
i felt not worthy to the world,
and felt maybe morek worthy if i wasnt here,
so maybe everyone would learn from this,
i kept a journal of my depression shit,
and one day it got serious,
i wrote letters to everyone that i loved,
and attempted to overdose on every pill i can find.
i immediatly ran down the street to my frien tristans house, where i told him i loved him,
he made me feel alot better, and i told him everything,
i puked myself so i wouldnt die,
but my parents found that journal and thought i was fucking insane.
later on, thought i was fat,
so i started not eating, and when i did, i puked myself.
luckly it didnt get to serious. and im fine now,
except for the fact that everyone knows me as the little tiny winy bopper who weighs 85 pounds, whos a crackwhore and a big slut.
lately ive been trying to manage through everything.
i dont even know where i am in life right now,
and i dont know where im going,
but to be completly honest, i dont really care, since my life is already fucked up.
everyday im either drunk or high and im enjoying it.
cigs calm me down, and i enjoy that to ,except for the smell.
hopefully,
imma start being a happy girl ;)
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Comments
- Wow you went threw a lot and even though you are still going threw it you have stayed strong and kept yourself going. life is hard and its always going to be but you have to rember that somthing good is always around the corner, as cheesy as that sounds its true. everyone plays a huge part of life you were put on the earth for a reason so you shouldnt care what people think of you as long as your having a good time.
