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Sent to a friend I'm 29. I'm married. I have a great husband and an awesome kid. I have a decent job. My husband makes a good living and I make a decent living. Together we drive decent cars, own our own home and have a reliable amount of security, even though we are loaded down with a bit of debt. My husband is the best person alive. He is my best friendProblem:
I am not in love with my husband though I do love him intensely but to hurt him is the worst pain I can imagine. Sex is utterly depressing. I don't desire him nor do I want him in that way. We are best friends who married and formed a life and family together or that's how it seems now. It is nothing more than that to me anymore. I dream and then dream some more of being with someone that I am truly in love with. I dream of performing on stage like my degree in music dictates I should. All I want to do is sit in a room and play music all day. All I want is to feel the harmonies of the piano in my bones, the beat of the drums in my ears, and the presence of one that I truly love at my side.
I have none of this. I feel empty. I want to escape. I want to leave this life that I have created for something that caters to my innermost needs. Possible? Yes. Probable no.
Oh well. such is life.
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