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Sent to a friend[18721] My sick sad little world
They call this step four in AA. I have been a huge drinker for a couple years and recently was let go from my job for being drunk at work. I quit drinking the same day. I started taking pills and going to AA trying to be a better person. Tonight I look at all the things that I did while I was on alcohol... the prostitutes, getting fired, DUI, spending money. It seems that all these things would make me want to quit and stay quit. But now more than ever I want to drink. The Anabuse that I am taking would kill me if I drank, but how bad would my death really be? I see no reason to live, yet I know that I won't kill myself no matter how bad that I want that drink. The tears coming down my face stream because of the alcohol that I lost in my life. I used to love the way that you made my head feel and the pain that I did not have to deal with. This is a sick thought. I can't drink I am an alcoholic but damn I sure want to.... yes yes I doRating:0.00
Comments
- i respect and admire you for your determination to stop drinking, never ever give up! what you're doing, resisting the temptation, is a very good thing. bless you my brother <3
you can do it!!!! - i think is very normal to face temptation, you are doing great with quitting and all, dont throw it all away, i know its hard to resist (i am an addict) but you can do it
- the point of anabuse isnt that it would kill you (although it might) its that it is soooooo unpleasant if you drink, think vomiting, sweating, chest pain...its really not worth it. looking at the things you used to do might well make you want to drink, because you want to hide from what you did and the only way you know how is to drink it away. what you have to do is stop feeling guilty for wanting to do it and feel proud for wanting to and NOT DOING IT. As the child of an alcoholic i am begging you to do whatever you can to help yourself.
- i feel you my whole life I've been drinking and doing drugs with my now wife she has since stopped but i cannot it feels like it's part of who i am of who I've become and asking me to quit would be like asking someone to not be sober anymore because That`s who they should be
