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Sent to a friend My wife is awesome, but I suck, literally and figuratively. I'm bisexual and like to fuck and suck men. Not just any old rusty foot dirt dweller. sissies fems or straight but attractive. I think I have a porn addiction because of it. I can't really go out and have sex with men. A. I'm married B. I'm a christian now. C. I'm about to have a baby and D. Disease. I think I substitute porn for sex. I can spend 2 to 3 hours looking at porn.But the stupid thing is I never jack off. just surf the web. My wife thinks I have problems getting hard. I have penis medicine and everything from my doctor, but I'm not sure if it's just psychological. I hate myself so much I think I just shutdown.
I think her family knows and is trying to kill, me sometimes I'd think she'd be better off without me. I'm a christian and a lot of them say gay is a choice and an abomination. I didn't choose to like what I like. If I could shut that part of my mind off I would.
I come here , because it gives me a place to vent and keeps me from looking at porn. I haven't been going to church since I started taking college classes and working , schedule so busy, i'm so tired , but I need to go.
I hope god forgives me. Sometimes I get angry with god for making me this way. I feel like a freak. I'm going to stop my evil ways , but it's real hard . to stop thinking about something that appeals to you.
not to get sympathy or anything, but I was drug raped by a man. and that's when all these feelings started to happen. I've been confused ever since. my wife helped me out in the situation, but it confused me so much. I feel like I don't deserve her.
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Comments
- u do deserve honey ur just going thru a hard time, i suggest u do everything u can to not look at porn right now and try to sort ur feeling and work thru the bad events with the help of a psychologist, ur lucky ur wife has stuck with u so be happy u have her.
its great ur going to school, and working congratulations many of us dream of doing it but never follow thru so i think ur making good decisions, just dont forget u always can make time to go church, if u cant in the morning service then go at night or go on Wednesdays , u get my point.
God already forgave u, it sounds to me like ur not really gay ur just confused cuz of what was done to u but with very hard work u can and will get thru this just remember to pray a lot i will too for u i pray that god gives u strength and guidance - Waking up Christian, ranks right up there with waking up with Micheal Jackson's dick in my mouth, as far as nightmares go for me...such a guilt ridden belief system. I don't understand why one should feel quilty for who they are, providing they aren't hurting anyone...dude thats all fucked up shit...not my thing I mean, but hardly criminal or the atrocity ur making it to be. You can step outta the jesus bubble anytime now and see life for what it is. Trade in ur purple penis pills for some self confidence and judge things for yourself. -kk
- kk ur so bad
- Bad as in bad or bad as in you want my number? -kk
- lol i might want ur number for that kind of bad but bad cuz this guy is struggling and wanting to change and u come around saying something not very helpful (in my opinion)
- I understand u man...I was raped by some bullies in school and bout some month later molested by my cousin. I struggle for years with low self-esteem sexual id, just to molest a kid, struggle some more with sexual issues and urgest. Some time I want a guy i think I'm going crazy. I enjoy guys feet. Yet, I doNOT engage in any sexual activity. I may watch some vids.However, I struggle & fight to NOT place myself in any position that I no I cannot handle. I have a guilt complex as well. Hang In there!!! U can and will make it. Your wife is a great support! for U No DL's (down lows)
- kk is right. I really don't think you should beat yourself up because of who you are. I get so effin angry at people saying that being gay is a choice. [I'm not gay].
Lol I think what kk said is helpful. Kk is telling this guy that he shouldn't get angry at himself for being bisexual. Its part of him and he should accept it AND because there is nothing wrong with being bisexual! I also think the jesus bubble is screwed up sometimes. Some of their morals are just plain rubbish =]
- sheeepie - Perhaps sucking my cock and eating my cum would make you feel better?
- why dont u start filling ur head with some lesbian porno. That might start filling ur head with something different from just guys.........try it u never know if u never try.
